Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
