You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
