I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
