i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
