all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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