i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
