I'm really into asian looking animals
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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