i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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