You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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