She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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