He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
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I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
