Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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