i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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