what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
