Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize