I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
