I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
