I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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