That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Randomize
