Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize