This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Everything about him screamed your future.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
