barbara walters just said penis...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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