i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
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Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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