I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
