If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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