Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize