I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
