i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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