He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize