This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
smell my finger.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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