To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
