He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Found the puke drawer
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
