how can u be prego again
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
