i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
