Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
