Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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