There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
