I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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