Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
