he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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