dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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