Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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