I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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