Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
