walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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