We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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