they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
