you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize