Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
