There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize