he puts the penis in happiness.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
