gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
