Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
