So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
