i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
