I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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