So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
