if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can't put those talents on a resume
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
