But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
