If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
