is this the sara with the beer cane?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
