whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
