y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
