Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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