Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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